Beach Day by Rodger Bliss
June 2024

Ax Murderers

Viktor the Viking lived in a distant land inhabited by dragons and sea monsters.

The dragon population later became a threat to the kingdom. The King, who married his sister and made her his queen, announced a contest. The warrior who could kill the most dragons from sunrise to sunset of next Sunday would be declared winner and marry the King’s only daughter.

On the eve of the contest, Staley the Bear, first born and heir to the King, slept early to conserve his energy with his sharpened ax beside him.

Viktor the Viking, who almost forgot his ax and shield, rode his black gelding into the forbidden forest and camped there overnight to gain a head start.

Sourdough Sam the Miner spent the night in his house sharpening his spatha and polishing his bronze shield. He had his squire prepare his stallion for the contest.

Roary the Lion woke up very late the morning of the contest and had to ride his horse like crazy to catch up with the others.

Poe the Raven, the only warrior who used two weapons was able to kill 4 dragons with his ax and 5 dragons with his spear.

At the wedding dinner hosted by the king later that evening, the winner–who killed more than a half dozen dragons with his ax–and his proud parents were honored by the King.

The winner’s horse was castrated and retired from duty. The winner’s bronze shield was permanently displayed in the King’s Hall.

Who won the contest?

For extra credit, what is the common denominator of the contestants’ names?

Submit your Guess




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2 guesses to Ax Murderers

  • Roary the Lion was the winner.
    Poe killed only 4 with his axe.
    Sam had no axe.
    Victor rode a gelding.
    Staley was heir to the king, so could not be honored with his parents by the king.

    One common denominator between the contestants’ names would be the article “the”.

  • Dude

    Jimmy Barcus, you are correct.

    Roary the Lion won the contest.

    (by process of elimination)

    Staley the Bear, first born of the king, could not be the winner because the winner was not the king’s son. The winner and his parents were honored by the King.

    Sourdough Sam the Miner, whose only weapon was a spatha (a sword) could not be the winner because the winner used an ax to kill dragons. Only Poe used two weapons.

    Poe the Raven, who killed only four dragons with his ax (and five dragons with his spear), could not be the winner because the winner killed more than a half dozen dragons with his ax.

    Viktor the Viking, whose horse was a gelding (castrated horse), could not be the winner because the winner’s horse was castrated after the contest.

    Roary the Lion must have killed at least ten dragons because Poe killed a total of nine. More than a half dozen means a number greater than six, including ten.

    Oh, and by the way: The contestants names are all names of NFL mascots.

    You are today’s winner.