Tax Day

1. Which president enacted the first income tax?
2. How many pages was the first 1040 form?
3. What is only local U.S. holiday to delay the IRS tax deadline?

A funny thing happened on the way to my audit:

The IRS decides to audit the RiddleDude, and summons him to their office.
The IRS auditor is not s surprised when the RiddleDude shows up with his attorney Moe Dewey (from the prestigious law firm Dewey, Cheatem and Howe).

The auditor says, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says the RiddleDude. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”

The RiddleDude says, “I’ll bet you a thousand bucks that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”

The RiddleDude removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
The RiddleDude says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell the RiddleDude isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. The RiddleDude removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with the RiddleDude’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” The RiddleDude asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. The RiddleDude stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But the RiddleDude’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. “Are you okay?” the auditor asks. “Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when the RiddleDude told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official’s desk and that you’d be happy about it.”